What's that creeping up on me?

Remember when the good old days were the days that my grandparents had trouble remembering?

Now that I am reaching the grand old age of 50 I am thinking of the good old days, or at least trying to think of the good old days. (I used the word "old" three times in a sentence what so do you think that means?)

It means you're obsessed with your age. If you want to really wallow in it, click here find out how lame you are compared with other people your age.

I know there really is only doing or not doing and no such thing as trying, but work with me here I am becoming an old fart. Speaking of farting, "What's that honey?" Well maybe I shouldn't speak of farting.... Anyway, I find myself chasing more than my fair share of figurative rabbits. I love spell check because it can spell figurative right. Causing me not to have to think about it. Now where was I? Oh yeah, my grandparents, no... oh, yes becoming an old fart. "What? No dear I am not writing about farting." How does she do that? Why is it her brain is getting better and mine is getting worse? I'm sending that girl back to school. She could be a physicist no psychic or something anyway.

But then again, your blogging! Do old farts blog?

Come to think of it, America's getting older. According to this, the average age in North America is 65.7! So don't sweat it, Jerry. It's hip to be square, and old is gold, baby. Age is the rage!

Now for a more lucid moment.

O.K. never mind. I will go back to rambling it is what I do best.

Lucidity is out! Senility is the new intelligentsia!

Zack baby just keeps showing us his true nature, agreeing with the prosecutors that he will kill in prison, because of his vow to kill all Americans. Boo Hiss. Someone should do a preemptive strike in his case.

The jury has spoken. Let it go.

Brangelina took out an ad in the New York Times decrying the events that are unfolding in Namibia. "Can't we help them" was her cry. Meaning the only country in the world with the heart to do so: us, the United States of America. Even though we have our hands full in another country or two or three and we have kooky despots calling for our annihilation. We will help I am sure. We always help. Always.

While America as a whole is a great force throughout the world, our charitable works on a per capita basis are some of the lowest in the world. Read this to learn what a bunch of penny-pinchers we are.

Did you not read the whole report? We are not misers, this was a lame attempt to denigrate the great American people. They know the that mosthard working American people only read the first few paragraphs and this left thim without the whoole truth. The truth is that we do not trust our Government with our charitable giving, we find the Red Cross and the Salvation Army to be more responsible with our charitable giving. The United States of America is #1 in giving.

This is O.K. though they help us back. They sent to us hallucinogenic poppy flower derivative, malicious religions, and gas no wait, skip that last one. Well we don't do these things for what we can get out of them (nothing) we do them because it is the right thing to do. The right thing to do... hmm...

"Malicious religions"? How politically incorrect! Islam is all about peace, brother, peace! Haven't you got that yet?

I do not consider Islam a malicious religion. Just certain sects of Islam.

House and God tied. On the T.V. series Dr. Gregory House played by Hugh Laurie is caught in a whirlwind of pomposity in his attempt to diagnose a child with the gift of healing. House is an arrogant self-determined miserable intellectual who cannot understand the issue of faith. Dr. James Wilson was keeping score, mostly to irritate House, and House and God tied. I think however I would not want Dr. James Wilson to officiate at a game I was playing in, he misses a lot of plays.

Agreed!

I thought about this some more, and I think most of us miss most of God's blessings.

I wonder how good Canada and Mexico would be doing if they were not adjacent to and friend of the United States of America?

What's that supposed to mean? I don't know about Canada, but Mexico might be doing better without it's enablers to the north. Maybe they'd have been forced to work out their problems.

Do anal-retentive people spend more time in the bathroom than non anal-retentive people? Timothy, do you have any insights on that one?

I do spend a heckuva lot of time in the bathroom...

The prickly barbs of a humor-infected relative make life sweet.

Ouch!