Spamming God's Mighty Works to the Masses

I got a spam email today that got me thinking. Or I should say, it brought thoughts back to my mind which have been bobbing there for years. These are not really pleasant thoughts, but I feel like blogging about them, just to "hear myself talk", as Carole might say.

What??? You opened spam mail, oh oh nothing good could happen here.

The email was actually forwarded to me by a close friend. We had recently been talking about miracles -- or the lack thereof, as compared with what is described in the Bible -- and he was sort of jokingly saying "look, here's what you've been looking for!"

Here's how it went: The message told the story of how a girl walking through a darkened alley at night was protected by angels from a terrible rapist, who after being captured for another crime sometime later, confessed to being hindered from raping this girl by two large men that walked with her. There was no one with her that night, but she told of a deep feeling of peace and safety and a "presence" with her.

Along with this awe-inspiring story, the email contained a cheesy little animated GIF of a flickering candle. It encouraged me in boldface type to "Please keep this candle of hope alive" by forwarding this message to as many people as possible.

Classic spam

The email contained several iterations of forwarding headers, so that I could see that this email had been received and forwarded on by many people before arriving in my inbox.

I tried to imagine myself pressing the "Forward" button, and clicking on all my friends and relatives, eager to "keep the candle alive" and pass on this inspiring story of God's protection.

I could not even imagine it.

All of the people on your e-mail list is sighing a hugh sigh of relief.

I must say, I do not believe this story. I do not even believe that the forwarding headers shown in the message are really from people forwarding the message. I think the whole thing was made up. That's how jaded I am.

SPAM: the things only idiots are wanting to believe. I have a free DVD player for you pal.

I'm not sure why it was made up. One possible motivation is that by sending a message to thousands, or millions, of random email addresses, a person can acquire a list of valid ones simply by eliminating the ones that come back undeliverable. Valid email address lists are worth money.

A more positively-spun explanation might be that the story contains a nugget of truth (maybe a girl did walk unharmed through a dark alley), and some well-meaning, starry-eyed believer envisioned the story this way hoping to inspire faith in great masses of people by starting this email chain letter.

This email did inspire me to think. What I thought was this: Why doesn't God do miracles anymore? Why must we learn of God's "mighty works" through cheesy spam emails with hokey animated GIF candles?

Someone will of course say "but he does do miracles everyday!" You know, like the "miracle of birth" or a "miraculous" sunset, or miraculously providing a parking space near the front when you've got sore feet. I heard a commercial on the radio touting a certain energy pill as "miraculous".

When you read the Gospels, Jesus is doing real biblical miracles all the time. Over and over it says "he healed everyone that came to him." He's walking on water, raising the dead, moving through walls, disappearing from a crowd. In Acts, the early church seems to continue this pattern.

In Galatians 3:5, the Apostle Paul asks his readers this question: "Does God give you his Spirit and work miracles among you because you observe the law, or because you believe what you heard?"

Reading this passage today, I had to stop and ask "what miracles?" Whom is God working miracles among?

AHEM, Oh, oh pick me, pick me.

Well Jerry, there's only the two of us here...

In years past, when I was young and naive, I would have quickly responded that the problem lies with us, not with God. We are not believing enough, or we are not believing the right things. After all, I continually heard then, as I still do, about great and mighty miracles happening far away, to people whom it is impossible for me to contact. If God's not doing anything where I happen to be at, it must be because I'm not believing.

But I have believed. With all my heart and soul I've believed. I've believed and believed and believed.

Don't tell me I didn't believe! In spite of all that's happened, I still believe!

On the list of things that are important to God, miracles are as necessary as gold in heaven.

What does that mean? If miracles are unimportant, why did Jesus perform so many? Why did he say "unless you see miraculous signs and wonders, you will never believe"?

He performed miracles because he knew they were important to the people! He might not have approved of their reliance on "signs and wonders", as he called them, but he recognized it and acted upon it.

But increasingly I'm finding belief difficult in the face of this appalling inactivity on God's part.

Maybe the trouble lies in our our understanding of what is important to God, after all it is by him and in his name the miracles happen.

I'm not sure what to do with this statement. You were arguing in a previous post that God helped Taylor Hicks win American Idol just to help you be a little happier.

Am I not important to God? I thought I was. He is very important to me. If I am struggling with faith, is that important to God? I thought faith was all-important to God. "Without faith it is impossible to please him".

On several occasions in the Gospels, Jesus said things which linked his working of miracles with people's ability to believe in him. For example, at one point he said that if the miracles he was doing had been done in Sodom and Gomorrah, they would have believed and repented. In another place he tells people that if they cannot believe in him just based on the things he says, they should believe in him because of the miracles he does.

In one place Jesus said this: "Unless you people see miraculous signs and wonders, you will never believe." Now, this appears to be a kind of rebuke, yet he does proceed to do the miraculous signs and wonders. What about me? If I'm having trouble believing, will Jesus care enough to give me a miraculous-sign-and-wonder push in the right direction?

Jesus famously said to Thomas, "because you have seen, you have believed. Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed."

He said this in a room full of people who had seen him heal the sick and raise the dead. People who had heard him predict his own death and resurrection. People who had seen him do all kinds of miracles. Are these the people who had "not seen, and yet believed"? A little of that "not seeing" could go a long way with me, I think!

I'll be honest: I can't really point to even one event in my life and say with certainty "that was a miracle". I've never seen God to anything out of the ordinary. I've lived my whole life grasping at straws. Looking for "little miracles". Like once I prayed and was able to drive several miles while our gas gauge was on "E". That was a happy moment, I'll admit, and at the time (being an inexperienced driver), I thought of that as a miracle, but now I've seen that happen many times. My new PT Cruiser can go 20 miles or so with the gauge reading "E". Conversely, I've prayed a few times and run out of gas anyway. Again, I'm grasping at straws with stuff like that. Where are the biblical-style miracles? I've never seen even one.

There is a song we sing in church that really irks me. It has these lyrics:

You dance over me
While I am unaware
You sing all around
But I never hear the sound.

Lord, I'm amazed by you, etc., etc.

Excuse me, but... what's so amazing about singing that you can't hear or dancing that you are unaware of? What good does it do anyone? What does it even mean to say that God is singing and dancing, but I cannot hear or see it? How does this show his great love for me, as the song goes on to say? I just don't get it.

Where is the God who stopped the sun in the sky and even made it move backward once? Where is the God of Elijah who sent fire down from heaven to light the soaked altar and prove himself to the priests of Baal? Where is the Jesus who "healed every one that came to him"?

I get it! You are looking for Cadillac miracles! Miracles like walking on water, no one else had that kind of miracles. What a joy that would be to have Cadillac miracles. I want Cadillac miracles. I know there used to be Cadillac miracles, I want my Cadillac miracles, and if I don’t get my Cadillac miracles I will not be happy. Big flashy miracles with shiny chrome lighting, reflecting God’s love for me. If I don’t get my Cadillac miracles… God is going to get a lot of whining. Loud continuous, annoying whining. No more of this peaceful communication and encouragement to personal growth. That is for an average sinner. I am much bigger than that. If it is important to me it had better be important to God.

Uhh, why do you say "no one else had that kind of miracles"? Peter did. He walked on water. Paul did. So did everyone else apparently, because Paul just assumes them when he asks "Why does God do miracles among you...?"

Apparently, they had not heard this "Cadillac miracles" reasoning that you have learned, and just thought they were for everyone!

But I don't want "Cadillac miracles". As I said more than once in this post, a little would go a long way. I do want ones that reflect God's love for me. You nailed it there.

I don't want to hear about "miracles" which are really just statistical improbabilities. Like people's cancer going into remission, or a tornado leaving someone's house alone. I mean, I like to hear about those things, but I am increasingly hesitant to call them miracles.

Maybe I'm whining. If so, it's because I'm a child, and children are expected to whine.

When a child whose parent has deserted him cries out, it's not called whining. A parent who loves his child will not hold those cries against him when he returns from long absence.

Really and truly, just a little of that would go a long way with me. After all, as Mulder would say, I want to believe.

Quoting Mulder, hmmm I wonder what Freud would say.

I don't know. What would he say? I liked the show, and I especially liked the character of Mulder. You say that God helped Taylor to win A.I., and you're going to criticize me for quoting the X-Files?

I used to have a pacemaker, for my heart. I used to have an life threatening irrythymia. Ask me about them if you need to hear of a Cadillac miracle.

I had a huge miracle in my life, I used to have a pacemaker for my heart,

Looks like you had more to say here. Go ahead!

Memories:Sanity in dream form

I have revisited an old memory.
Funny, but it is a song called Memories, by Mac Davis. Here are the words to Memories:

Memories
Pressed between the pages of my mind
Memories
Sweetened thru the ages just like wine
Quiet thoughts come floating down
And settle softly to the ground
Like golden autumn leaves around my feet
I touched them and they burst apart with Sweet memories
Sweet memories
Of lollypops and red bouquets,
and twilight trimmed in purple haze
and laughing eyes and simple ways
and quiet nights and gentle days with you.
Memories
I cling to them and tremble til the dawn
My memories are all that I have left now that you’re gone
Oh what would I do without my sweet memories?
Sweet memories
Of lollypops and red bouquets and twilight trimmed in purple haze.
And laughing eyes and simple ways
And quiet nights and gentle days with you
Memories
Sadly fragrant flowers turning brown
Memories
Soft and distant showers coming down
Coming down
Sweet memories
Memories
Memories
Sweet memories

Remarkably eloquent no?

For some reason, I am reminded of the Schwarzenegger movie "Total Recall". I've never actually seen the movie, but I know it's about a company that sells "virtual vacations", where you can pay a fee and have the memories of a great vacation in some exotic place implanted in your mind. The thing is, after a vacation is over, all you have are the memories of it anyway, so this way you can get the memories without any of the risk or cost of actually doing the thing. You can't tell the difference once it's over. You think you did it. You remember doing it.

I've always been intrigued by that idea. That all we really have -- in fact, maybe all we really are is memories.

When I was a child I played baseball with Satler’s Auto Electric. I was the catcher by default. No one else would catch for Craig Blood, his pitches hurt. My father encouraged me to take the task even though my chubby little hands could not close the thick heavy catchers glove, so I used just a standard base glove. My hand was swollen with the punishment. This may seem like a bad memory, but it gave me my only claim to sports fame. Satler’s Auto Electric won first place with an undefeated season. I was part of a bigger thing though, and I learned a value: sometimes the value of the experience is worth the pain.

True, but sometimes it seems like it's not.

Memories…
Like the time when Idaho froze up to 23 below. The pipes in our house froze. When I woke up in the middle of the night thirsty I was desperate for a drink of water so barefooted I jumped out into the frozen snowy landscape scooped up some of the white refreshment brought it inside and put it on the stove to thaw. I remember how long it took for the flames to thaw that snow. I remember the water I drank was still very cold and refreshing. I went back to bed not learning a thing, just contented at my slaked thirst. Memories seem to be good for contentment at a later date also.

Sometimes good memories can make you sad though. Good memories of a loved-one that's passed on, for example. Sometimes dwelling on memories makes me feel sorta sad and pathetic, like my best times are already past, and I don't have anything to look forward to.

Memories…
Of the first time my adorable wife looked at me with the soft eyes of love. It is burned into my skull and will surface to the forefront of my mind when she is less than cordial. (An understandable side effect of knowing a clod like me). Memories are good for peace in life.

I think I understand. When your wife is not happy with you, you just imagine a time when she was and respond to that. I'll have to try it:

Molly: "Tim, you lazy, shiftless bum, get off your butt and help me with the housework!"
Tim (with eyes glazed over and a wistful smile): "I love you too, honey. Will you marry me?"

Memories…
They can be used like clubs, with memories an individual can pummel the soul of another person into the fetal position. There is a cliché type of illustration of this: When a son wishes to do something that a controlling mother wishes him not to do, the mother may something like “I was in labor with you for 28 hours and you are going to treat me like that?” I think this is just wrong, it is the antithesis to the pain–experience value lesson mentioned above.

I've never known a mother to actually say that, except in sit-coms on TV. I hope they never do.

Memories…
Of friends who have strayed away from a sane life to find a tawdry adventure somewhere else where you could not follow. Memories are the ground on which an upright person stands.

Like your memories of me, perhaps? Heh heh heh

Memories have a way of making a life solid. Stiffens your backbone. Helps you appreciate those around you. Blows away the anxiety and warms the corners of your heart.

Live in the past on occasion.

Sounds like advice one might expect to recieve from the Guardian of Forever.

Memories: sanity in dream form.