What's that creeping up on me?

Remember when the good old days were the days that my grandparents had trouble remembering?

Now that I am reaching the grand old age of 50 I am thinking of the good old days, or at least trying to think of the good old days. (I used the word "old" three times in a sentence what so do you think that means?)

It means you're obsessed with your age. If you want to really wallow in it, click here find out how lame you are compared with other people your age.

I know there really is only doing or not doing and no such thing as trying, but work with me here I am becoming an old fart. Speaking of farting, "What's that honey?" Well maybe I shouldn't speak of farting.... Anyway, I find myself chasing more than my fair share of figurative rabbits. I love spell check because it can spell figurative right. Causing me not to have to think about it. Now where was I? Oh yeah, my grandparents, no... oh, yes becoming an old fart. "What? No dear I am not writing about farting." How does she do that? Why is it her brain is getting better and mine is getting worse? I'm sending that girl back to school. She could be a physicist no psychic or something anyway.

But then again, your blogging! Do old farts blog?

Come to think of it, America's getting older. According to this, the average age in North America is 65.7! So don't sweat it, Jerry. It's hip to be square, and old is gold, baby. Age is the rage!

Now for a more lucid moment.

O.K. never mind. I will go back to rambling it is what I do best.

Lucidity is out! Senility is the new intelligentsia!

Zack baby just keeps showing us his true nature, agreeing with the prosecutors that he will kill in prison, because of his vow to kill all Americans. Boo Hiss. Someone should do a preemptive strike in his case.

The jury has spoken. Let it go.

Brangelina took out an ad in the New York Times decrying the events that are unfolding in Namibia. "Can't we help them" was her cry. Meaning the only country in the world with the heart to do so: us, the United States of America. Even though we have our hands full in another country or two or three and we have kooky despots calling for our annihilation. We will help I am sure. We always help. Always.

While America as a whole is a great force throughout the world, our charitable works on a per capita basis are some of the lowest in the world. Read this to learn what a bunch of penny-pinchers we are.

Did you not read the whole report? We are not misers, this was a lame attempt to denigrate the great American people. They know the that mosthard working American people only read the first few paragraphs and this left thim without the whoole truth. The truth is that we do not trust our Government with our charitable giving, we find the Red Cross and the Salvation Army to be more responsible with our charitable giving. The United States of America is #1 in giving.

This is O.K. though they help us back. They sent to us hallucinogenic poppy flower derivative, malicious religions, and gas no wait, skip that last one. Well we don't do these things for what we can get out of them (nothing) we do them because it is the right thing to do. The right thing to do... hmm...

"Malicious religions"? How politically incorrect! Islam is all about peace, brother, peace! Haven't you got that yet?

I do not consider Islam a malicious religion. Just certain sects of Islam.

House and God tied. On the T.V. series Dr. Gregory House played by Hugh Laurie is caught in a whirlwind of pomposity in his attempt to diagnose a child with the gift of healing. House is an arrogant self-determined miserable intellectual who cannot understand the issue of faith. Dr. James Wilson was keeping score, mostly to irritate House, and House and God tied. I think however I would not want Dr. James Wilson to officiate at a game I was playing in, he misses a lot of plays.

Agreed!

I thought about this some more, and I think most of us miss most of God's blessings.

I wonder how good Canada and Mexico would be doing if they were not adjacent to and friend of the United States of America?

What's that supposed to mean? I don't know about Canada, but Mexico might be doing better without it's enablers to the north. Maybe they'd have been forced to work out their problems.

Do anal-retentive people spend more time in the bathroom than non anal-retentive people? Timothy, do you have any insights on that one?

I do spend a heckuva lot of time in the bathroom...

The prickly barbs of a humor-infected relative make life sweet.

Ouch!

The answer to all our criminal problems

For sport sometimes I like taking the opposite side of an issue. When I am done with the discourse I make sure the person I am talking with knows my true understanding of the situation.

I like to do this too. My problem is that sometimes I end up convincing myself.

Methinks thou doest listen to the Evil You too much mayhap.


This does not seem to be the situation with politicians at election time. I think some of them just take the opposite viewpoint just to be the opposite. They have no intentions of fulfilling any promise made from this errant position, and they only hold to it to frustrate the other party. (As an aside, I think they should stop calling them political parties, after all no one is having any fun.)

You don't think so? Have you forgotten Bill Clinton? Hubba-hubba! Power can be fun!

You think putting up with Monica et al is fun, yow! Is being unfaithful really fun, having never had I cannot say. But my imagination is telling me all that skulking around and the anticipation that you are caught has to take a toll on your tummy.


They don’t believe for a moment that anyone would bother trying to write a legislative bill to promote the inanity. The Evil Me wants to say mean things about a person who misuses his public trust in such a fashion, but he will stay in check on this one.

Let it out Jerry. It's the good part of you that despises polititians.

Here a joke worth repeating, Politics, from the Latin, Poly- meaning many, and ticks- which are blood-sucking insects.

You've got it all mixed up. It's the Evil You that thinks that joke is worth repeating!

I know the Evil me and it is not the Evil me, the Evil me is much more crude.

I would like to weigh in on the whole immigration issue, but even thinking about it makes me feel like an Albanian brain sucker has tried to crack my noggin.

Evil me says, “I know of a place they can put those Mexican flags.” (I will leave out his imaginative description as to where, allowing you to utilize your imagination)

ummm, on a flagpole?

Indeed that is where the Good me was thinking except... a flagpole in Mexico.

There, I vented, but probably not enough, I can feel my soul scowling.

You certainly did not vent enough, since I can't tell what your opinion is, other than you don't like Mexicans. Ahem, to be clear I do not like illegal anyones in my country not just Mexicans. I'm not sure why you'd say that either. Aren't we supposed to love our neighbors?

This is crock. I cannot interact with them to love them.

Do you think we should round up all 11 million or so illegals and export them en masse? Surely you don't. Maybe that's the Evil You? Do you support or oppose the bill everyone's talking about? What do you think should be done?

For the Mexicans who drain continually on the resources of a country that is not their own, who do not even have the spine to change the filthy corruption in their own country they should be sent back with a admonishment if you come back again your country will pay for your care for a year. Then charge tarriffs to bring goods into our country to cover their upkeep. If you are caught again...Caning.

Now on to a new topic: Zacarias Moussaoui

Kudos for Zack Baby's parents for extensive use of vowels in the naming of kids, there ought to be an award. But there is where my praise must end for alas, they raised one warped and twisted kid. Can you imagine rejoicing in the 9-11 destruction? I can feel no desire to assist him in living a better life; I think this is because he is true evil. I cannot imagine an instance where I am self-compelled to be kind to him either. This is disturbing to me; I am for the most part a nice person. Hell may not have a temperature hot enough for him.

Blah blah blah. Thank God there are still a few people in power who care about the RULE OF LAW. We do not put people to death because we think they are "evil" and deserving of Hell. What pure rubbish. Hell's temperature is God's business. There's a reason he didn't put you in charge.

In America a man can stand on the street corner and shout at the top of his lungs that every American deserves to be tortured and burned at the stake and it's perfectly legal. It's called free speech. Also, we have in our constitution that people have the "right to remain silent". You are not required to incriminate yourself. Are you prepared to throw out the constitution so that your baser instincts can feel satiated?

Gee, if you are going to mock my deep seated feelings, sniff sniff. Zack baby went too far, see too far. You are not allowed to do things which endanger other peoples well being in the process of utilizing your free speech either, i.e. plotting to kill a massive amount of people.

I have a solution.

The answer to all of our nation's criminal problems is…(Can I hear a drum roll please) Caning. Take all the little beggars outside and start caning them. Take them to the town square put them on T.V. and whack them. Start at 10 whacks, and tell them “every time you think it is O.K. to snub your nose at the rule of law you’ll get 10 additional whacks until you can’t get up. Maybe this will deter the scurrilous little scofflaws.

Caning?? I thought you wanted Moussaoui put to death at the earliest possible moment? And weren't you just snubbing your nose at the rule of law in a previous post? Didn't you say they should put a bullet through his head before the trial even started?

I simply expressed how I felt with out endangering anyone, I did not expect any action to be taken which which denied the rule of law. Well, the amount of caning needs to be proportionate to the crime of course. Say one whack with a poisonous cane for Z.M.


Guards! Take this man out and cane him! No need really

I know, I know that’s cruel and unusual punishment. I think putting someone in prison for 20 years is cruel. I feel sad for Zoo animals their potential for a good life is greatly diminished by their incarceration. When the writers of the constitution wrote “cruel and unusual punishment” caning would have been accepted.

You may have a point (even if it's a point that goes dead against some of the points you've made before). "The rod is for the back of fools" as the scripture says.

But, coming right off the topic of Moussaoui, I'm not sure who you think should be caned? Shall we cane murderers? Bank robbers? What about repeat offenders? What if they build up callouses?

I would invest in a caning cane manufacturer right now.

My goodness, I feel as if I am being awful. I wonder why?

That's the wimpy "Nice You" talking. Mr. Scott, is that transporter fixed yet?

Now a lighthearted story:

I commute to work every weekday. Yesterday while on the way to work I glanced over at the car next to me and saw a little girl strapped firmly into her car seat. She had the look of utter boredom on her face so I waved to her with a smile on mine. She smiled a glorious smile back, and flapped her fingers up and down in a wave to me. Then her mother hit the gas and she moved out of sight. I developed a “what a beautiful world” attitude instantly. That was fun enough, but the little girl was not done. A few minutes later in the seemingly eternal struggle between lanes of traffic I had managed to come even with her car again and just as I glance over she had her little hand flapping again, with an even brighter smile. She was delighting, as was I, in her thoughtfulness.

That is nice, but it's a good thing you didn't attract the attention of her parents. They'd call in your license plate and report you for stalking.

On the road of life we could use more little ones such as her.

I wonder if she wants Moussaoui dead? I'll bet she'd wave a friendly smile at him if he pulled up alongside her car.